Anger Management: 7 Helpful Tips to Control your Temper

Did you know that outburst anger weakens your immune system and affects your brain? Do minor issues easily upset you? Worry not. In this article, I will unveil all the details you need to know about anger management.

First forward;

The Limbic System Vs. The Cerebral Cortex

The limbic system is the brain’s emotional center. It’s located at the lower part of the brain. The cerebral cortex is the thinking part of the brain – it is responsible for judgment and logic. It’s the outer part of the brain, that is portioned into lobes.

Now, whenever you become angry, it means that you are using the limbic system and not the cerebral cortex (the thinking part of the brain). That’s why you can’t make a sound judgment when under temper; this only leads to regrets later.

What’s Amygdala if I may ask?

Well, the amygdala is a tiny structure within the limbic system that stores all emotional memories. It’s the same locality in the brain that triggers ‘fight or flight’ reactions, our natural survival instincts.

So, all the information that comes into your brain passes through the amygdala. The amygdala then decides where the message will go to; either to the cerebral cortex or to the limbic system.

Think of this, during amygdala hijacking, the hormones burst – this raises an emotional and physical alarm. There is an abrupt energy flow which prepares you for a flight or fight response. The temper impact may last for some minutes, and at this time, you are out of control.

Of course, anger makes you say or do things that will make you regret later. Your health comes first; it’s, therefore, essential to tame your emotions for the sake of your health.

Let’s now delve into our discussion: how can we manage hot tempers?

1.     Use Relaxation Skills

Do something that will cool you down whenever your anger is about to rise. These relaxation skills will be helpful:

• Repetition of calming phrases like “calm down,” “take it easy.” These words of affirmation help you believe that everything is in control, and it will work out.
• Listening to music – music is a therapy that can heal and calm a wounded soul. No matter what makes you angry, listening to some good music can help you relax.
• Perform some stretch exercises – exercising relaxes your body and soul. During the exercise, there is an adequate flow of oxygen into the brain which negates the effects of anger.
• Deep-breathing – breath in and out. Taking a deep breath relieves you and leaves you relaxed; it also eases your tension.

Know what works for you; remember what works for your friend may not work for you.

2.     Identify Possible Solutions

In order to hack this anger management issue, the first step is to know what makes you angry, and the next is to look for a solution. Do you get upset when your kids make the kitchen dirty? Close the door – problem solved! Is your spouse coming for dinner late? Plan meals later in the night to avoid arguments.

Imagine it’s that easy! Once you realize something makes you angry, solve it at hand. The point is, anger will NOT solve your issues. On the contrary, it will only worsen the situation. Do not accept to be a prisoner of high temper; your health is more important than anything else. Stay calm.

3.     Don’t Hold Grudges

There is power in forgiveness. If someone messes up with you, don’t hold a grudge. Walking away is better than physical confrontation; it will only result in a fight. Never allow bitterness to swallow you; it does much harm than good.

Otherwise, forgiveness doesn’t mean you are weak. Instead, walking away is a sign of strength. Silence can solve a lot of issues. Avoid shouting to each other; especially for couples. Remember you are in this together and your aim is to build a healthy marriage.

Best of all, if your partner is angry, don’t provoke them. Give them time to cool down then resolve your issues afterwards.

Actually, anger is a key contributor to fights and killings in marriages. Don’t be a slave of temper; be an ambassador of peace. Let people learn from you. Avoiding grudges strengthens your relationship or friendship.

4.     Know When to Seek Help

Sometimes, anger management can be challenging. If anger makes you do wrong things, you may need help. Sometimes people injure and even kill others out of uncontrollable rage, which later results in guilt.

At such a point, it’s essential to go for counselling. Sharing your feelings and emotions with another person lessens your burden. Also, getting professional advice helps tame your tempers. Do not fight anger alone; involve people who can help you out. Speak up!

5.     Go for a Walk

Walking or running aids in calming your nerves. Biking and stretch exercises work miracles too. Feel free to engage in activities that make your limbs to bump; it’s good for your body and mind. When doing these exercises, try to forget what made you angry.

Concentrating on your exercise will help you get over your high tempers. Walk away from people or things that arouse your anger. Cut off friendships that don’t add up!

6.     Avoid Talking when Angry

Always be mindful of what you say – be responsible for your words. Remember that words once spoken, whether good or bad, can never go back. Be careful not to harm other people either physically or emotionally. Walking away gives you more time to rethink before responding.

See, when you are furious, you will be tempted to do or say things that will hurt others. Glue your lips at such a moment. Staying silent will help you take time to collect your thoughts once more before taking any action.

7.     Think Before you Do or Say Something

Most of the times, hot temper will make you say or do things that will hurt your loved ones or the people around you. Adequately collect yourselves before speaking and allow the other person to do the same.

Look at this; if you are under anger, fighting will be your automatic response. High tempers can bring chaos in marriage, at the workplace, and anywhere else two or more people are involved.

By the way, have you ever found yourself turning your anger on your spouse or a friend? It’s worthwhile to be careful because you may lose real friends. Besides, temper leads to heart attack and stroke. Avoid it as much as you can.

A bonus tip

Another great idea is to have a close accountability partner. This idea works wonders as they will act as a constant reminder that you are supposed to control yourselves. It’s great to have a support system whenever you need help.

Conclusion

Having hot tempers will only lead to hurtful actions. Your anger not only affects the people around you but also affects your health. Don’t let your emotions ruin your relationship, marriage, or friendship. Strong people are never afraid to ask for help. And the initial step is to identify that you need help.

You can’t go for counselling unless you first accept that you need help. It all starts from within. Many times, high tempers lead to depression. A lot of people never realize that they are depressed; they think it’s just temper. Do not hesitate to seek counselling before it’s too late.